Kids: Though there isn't much kids can do about their questions, they do ask questions to self like... What if I had that bike?... or that toy? .. they are not mature enough to question their actions ... not that all adults are.
Teenagers: What if I had taken up the other course? What if I had said sorry to my friend at the right time?.. or more importantly in that age... What if I had proposed to "her" when i had the chance?
Adults: What if I had taken up that job? What What if I had bought that house? What if I hadn't lived my life the way i have??? ... there are too many complex questions which adults have...
I often wonder. How useful is Retrospection? Is it really worth asking these questions?
Questioning your past actions, especially failures, can sometimes have a disastrous effect on your confidence, if not viewed in correct light. You start considering yourself as a good-for-nothing loser. Such self-inflicted inferiority complex can kill the drive of even the genuinely capable people.
So what should you do? Run away from facts? Coz its also very true that you learn from your past mistakes. Your experiences teach you what no school or university can teach. Doing a mistake might be considered stupid, but repeating it is a crime. Here I think discretion as to which actions to contemplate on and which to leave alone is necessary. And more significantly, it is vital that you view the events as a third person, with some detachment as emotions do not always help the cause.
I would really congratulate those people who somehow seem to take the correct roads in life and never feel the need to retrace their path to analyze where they went wrong. I guess this must be a very small, elite class and there would be no way of identifying them since such self questioning doesn't happen in public. What is it that they do right? It is said that our journey in life is full of choices we need to make. (don't worry I wont give you the gyaan from the Matrix; actually I don't remember what that old architect said) Even in the most difficult situations when we say that "i have no other choice", there is a choice; just that only the league of extra-ordinary gentlemen/women can see that or are in a position to see it as a choice and to do something about it. The lesser mortals take the easy way out often without realizing there is a tougher choice.
In such cases you would most probably hear the argument that "I was destined to do it. Someone up there has already written it for me". Is this a sign of weakness we show by transferring the responsibility or blame on Destiny? Or is there some truth in the argument?
In such cases you would most probably hear the argument that "I was destined to do it. Someone up there has already written it for me". Is this a sign of weakness we show by transferring the responsibility or blame on Destiny? Or is there some truth in the argument?
Ideally, one should take one's decisions with so much conviction that even in case of failure you should not have second thoughts. You should shape your destiny rather than the destiny shaping you. To achieve this you need to be damn sure of what you want and (those who believe in Destiny) be convinced that this is his Destiny even before getting to see the results.
I'm definitely not one of those ideal cases. Generally I'm pretty much confused when it comes to taking decisions, but I do take the responsibility and consider all options which my capacity permits me to. And after the decision is taken and the action done with, I ask God to support me and help me get the results. In case of success I never forget to thank Him and in case of failures I share the responsibility too :) .... placing the blame on my choices and thinking that I was destined to make that choice. This way I do not completely run away from my responsibility and at the same time I do not feel too bad about the situation. (how diplomatic..!!! )
On this note I'll end with a quote I found (thanks to google) by William Jennings Bryan -
Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
